I Failed as a White Parent

I failed as a white parent.

I assumed that living in a wonderfully diverse city was enough and I didn’t need to have explicit conversations about race with my kids when they were young.

I thought that by having a diverse group of friends at young ages was enough and I didn’t think I needed to have explicit conversations about the injustices and inequalities that some of their friends and their families face because of the color of their skin. Sure, we had some, but they were not explicit and there were not enough of them when they were young.

In the book, “Nurture Shock,” the authors PO Bronson and Ashley Merryman discuss how young children are forced to figure out racial differences on their own when parents (especially white parents) don’t have explicit conversations about race at a young age.

The belief that pointing out skin color and racial differences somehow has a negative impact or draws more attention to differences has been proven false. As white parents, it is our job to explicitly talk about skin color and racial injustice, and not shy away from it when our children are young.

We also need to continue these conversations as they grow and as the injustices continue to rear their ugly heads.

And we need to shut up and L I S T E N. To protesters. To people of color, particularly black people, who have been hurting for far too long.

Then, we need to act. Show up and show support. Be more than just an ally. There are so many ways to do this. Here are just a few:

Follow The Conscious Kid for parenting and educational resources.

Read this article, For Our White Friends Desiring to Be Allies

Follow leaders and organizations like Van Jones - Dream Corps and Shaun King (there are countless others but these are two I’ve been following and am more familiar with)

Read the chapter titled, “Why White Parents Won’t Talk About Race” in the book, NurtureShock

Follow Teaching Tolerance.

This doesn’t come anywhere close to covering all of the valuable resources out there. If you have a new link or resource to share, please mention it in the comments.

To my community of Black clients and friends:
I see you.
I stand with you.
I love you.