I Remember...A Birthday Message to my 8-Year old

I remember...

the moment I first saw you.  I couldn't take my eyes off of you.

I remember...

feeling so vulnerable...so scared of this new title as 'mom' and what it really meant.

I remember...

the struggles with nursing and the sleepless nights.

I remember...

when what little sleep there was took precedence over showers or food.

I remember...

the postpartum depression and how I tried to hide it from most people.

I remember...

the way your dad would gaze at you with total adoration and how much you learned about baseball at such a young age.  :)

I remember...

the conversations I had with other new moms...how easy it was to confide in these strangers (friends now!) and realize that I was not alone.

I remember...

feeling so lucky that I could be the one to stay home with you.

I remember...

feeling overwhelmed by keeping you safe and protected from anything and everything.

I still feel this way each and everyday.

There are so many things I can't control, and as a parent who wants to always protect you from harm, I find this difficult to swallow at times.  While I can't control the world around us, I can teach you right from wrong.  I can lead by example.  I can guide you into being an independent thinker; someone who has compassion, empathy and respect for others.  I can tell you I Love and Adore You every single day.  I can wipe away your tears and support you in whatever ways you need.  I am proud to be your mom, Aidan.  Thank you for being the fiery spirit that you are and reminding me of what is important each and everyday.  Happy 8th Birthday.  xo