My teens just entered their 6th week of DL (Distance Learning) and I’ve learned a few things.

Whether your child is heading back to school online or in person this school year, here are six tips and tricks on how to make the craziness of Back to School in 2020 work for your child and your family.

1. Set the Tone

Your kids are going to react to your reactions. If you are annoyed that your district is beginning in distance learning, do not complain about it in front of them. If you are anxious about sending your kids back to in person school, vent to your partner or best friend in private, but reassure the kids that you are all working together to keep them safe. Give your children space to talk about the situation and how they feel about what’s happening. Offer solutions and guidance to help them feel a sense of control.

2. Establish Routines

We all know the value of routines. Children especially need a structure to their day that is predictable and consistent. Before school started, my kids and I discussed the importance of waking up and going through their morning routine as if they were leaving the house. It’s way too easy to go an entire day without brushing teeth or getting out of pajamas. It’s a mindset thing that my older kids understand and have embraced…most days!

After their school day ends, my teens are supposed to come and find me and let me know they are done. I call this our “car ride home” time - that transition period from school to home where they tell me about their day and classes. Kids may find this annoying, but I use this time to pick up on other verbal/nonverbal cues to give me insights into their day. Example: I noticed my son was looking really worn down after a morning of classes. He complained about feeling distracted and like he couldn’t concentrate. I had recently learned of an app called Plantie that helps limit distractions by planting a tree when you stay on task. With a little cash incentive thrown in (“plant X number of trees by end of week for $X”), this was the motivation he needed to stay focused and in that flow state.

If your children are heading back to a classroom, be sure there are routines established for when they get home (wash hands, change clothing, empty and wash backpack / lunchbox, refill travel hand sanitizer, etc). Help children take ownership in the tasks they can do based on their ages.

3. Create a Nurturing Learning Space

If your kids are in Zoom School at home, it’s important that they have a designated work space. A desk or table is better than a bed or couch. Help them stay organized by filling a basket or nearby drawer with basic items, including pencils, glue stick, post-it notes, index cards, tape, scissors, markers, etc. Make it fun by adding little goodies, such as a pack of gum or stickers. The items you include will vary by age, but my middle schooler has already utilized several items from her school basket. Hooray…one point for Mom! A small snack and water bottle in close reach will help them stay alert and focused.

4. Show Your Support

I’ve made sure to attend all of the info meetings and office hours that were hosted over the past month by administrators and teachers at both of my kids’ schools. The partnership between parents and teachers is always important, but open/honest communication is even more critical right now. Teachers who are engaging with their students through distance learning are trying to build relationships and make connections with their students…through a screen. Support your child’s teachers in any way you can and be willing to reach out to them when something isn’t working for your child.

For older kids, the goal is for them to have agency in reaching out to their teachers when they need help. Learning how to effectively communicate is an important skill. Here is a sample email template to help your child write clear, respectful messages to their teachers (source: Parents and Teachers as Educational Co-Navigators training):

How to Send an Email to Your Teacher

1. Use a specific subject line. Keep it brief and clear what the email is about (i.e. 3rd Period Homework)

2. Use a greeting. Even emails deserve a polite greeting: (i.e. “Dear Mr. ___” or “Good morning, Mrs. ___.”)

3. Stick to the point. Keep the message relevant to the topic. Do not give too much extra information.

4. Be professional. Avoid using slang or emojis.

5. Proofread and sign. Check for spelling and grammar. Sign the email with your name.

In the classroom, you can support your child’s teacher by offering to help with sanitizing classroom items after school, purchasing supplies from a wish list, and helping your child stay organized and on top of their school work. If your child’s teacher doesn’t need help, reach out to the special education teachers in your school and see how you can support them and their students.

5. Plan for Self-Care and Stress Management

Increased screen time has proven to increase mental fatigue. The anxiety over sending children to school with masks while entrusting other adults to keep them safe can feel overwhelming. The need for self-care and managing stress is more important than ever. Simple things like exercise and checking in with your child can help bring anxiety down. Other helpful tips:

• Limit media exposure

• Help kids focus on what they can control

• Promote self-advocacy

• Get outside everyday

• Stay organized

• Stay creative and connected - i.e. find pen pals in family member or long-distance friends (send letter/artwork to each other - who wouldn’t love getting mail like this?!)

6. Listen More, Talk Less

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but worth mentioning. Make time for your kids to talk while you listen with empathy. The adults of the world have alllllllll kinds of thoughts and opinions on what we think should or shouldn’t be happening. But, our kids are the ones who are doing the work of going to school in 2020. They deserve time and space to be heard without diminishing or disregarding their feelings.

More Tips and Tricks

I have been on many training webinars recently that I cannot remember the source of this document, but here is one final resource with lots of helpful Distance Learning Tips .

No matter how we help navigate our children’s education through this unprecedented time, the most important thing to remember is…

Everyone is doing the best they can. On any given day, YOU are doing the best you can. Be gentle on yourself and your children. Together, we will get through this with lots of grace and understanding.

Have any back to school tips or tricks to share? Leave a comment below. Also, if you found this information helpful, please share with others!